Well as my bio states, I’m a husband, dad, and unfortunately STILL wannabe Ironman. The feared became reality about 9:55 PM May 16, 2015 when I didn’t make the 17 mile 9:50 cut off time. I completed 131 miles in 14 hrs. 53 mins., just 9.6 miles short… I was so close yet so far. Nonetheless, it was a learning experience and great day (easier to say now almost a month later).
Not finishing was a fear that I had going into it. I told a fellow ORR athlete, Mikey, this after a swim session when he asked how I was feeling. He gave some great advice. He said it’s a common fear because all your friends and family know that you’re doing it so you don’t want to let them down but attempting an Ironman is also an accomplishment. He suggested I get comfortable with not finishing because Ironman is a difficult race and there are MANY people including Pro’s and Elites that will not finish so prepare myself mentally just in case. That’s great advice but I felt like I was prepared. I put in many hours of training so was ready. After all, I was just looking to finish.
Lead In
As with all IM events, the bike and bag check in was the day before the event, Friday for IMTX. Right off the bat I see a familiar face, fellow ORR athlete Iggy, who was there volunteering at bike check in. He carries my bike to its rack location and I’m wondering why only soon to find out. With all the rain we’ve had leading up to the event and the fact they recently planted new sod in the park, the transition area looked like what I presume the mosh pit area after a Lollapalooza concert. There was a huge mud pit right in the middle of it all that we all sloshed around in and many complained about but at the time that added to the excitement. We get to my slot and wow, nice…right on the end or so I thought. The next morning I found my once clean bike splattered with mud on the one side but since it was dark, I didn’t notice until on my bike. Everyone knows that a clean bike is a fast bike but I won’t use that excuse. HA!
I saw quite a few people that I knew while only talking to a few as it seemed we were all eager and anxious. I found my T1 and T2 spots for bike and run bags. Another friend Joe, gave the advice to mark my bags with something I’d recognize so the night before, Jen and I put my favorite neon green color tape on both bags. Perfect…
I’m feeling more relaxed now and taking it all in when I run into another friend of mine, Rick. I was glad to see him since he’s done numerous IM races so in my mind, an expert. It was great catching up with him and I decided to ask him if he put anything special in his bike special needs bag. He said the usual stuff but then gave me a great idea. He puts new bottles and a turkey sandwich in disposable cooler with a frozen ice pack. Awesome…I can’t wait to do this as well. Now all I had to do were a few last minute details then meet Mimi and Grandpa Eugene at the house. They were helping by staying with the boys so Jen and I could stay at a nearby hotel in The Woodlands. This allowed some uninterrupted time to relax and unwind before the big day not to mention a few more minutes of sleep.
The Big Day
I woke up at 4 AM feeling like I just fell asleep. Wait, I did at around midnight. As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m a big fan of First Endurance products. I exchanged some texts about a month prior to IMTX with Matt Hanson, who is also sponsored by FE and now happens to be the 2015 IMTX North American Champion. He has Ultragen for breakfast and at times may include oatmeal so I also decided to try this approach. I spent about a month using this during training and works for me so we’re set. I’m drinking my Ultragen while eating very little of the oatmeal trying to stay quiet so Jen can get a few more minutes of sleep. I’m feeling full maybe from the nerves or the filet and potato the day before.
Jen helps me with my morning bags and we’re set to leave but I have that recurring race day feeling that I’m forgetting something. I’m anxious and nervous so feel like I’m late although I know there is still plenty of time and I in fact do have everything. I got to Transition about 5:20 and it’s already crowded. I see Eric, ORR athlete who I now consider good friend, standing there taking it all in. He has the deer in headlights look as I quickly talk to him before heading off to my bike to put bottles on and turn on my Garmin and MyAthlete tracking device (NOTE, great recommendation by Michael so my friends and family could better track me). I met back up with Jen who also saw Eric briefly and commented how we both have that look as she and I began the walk to the swim start. I feel my HR beginning to pick up and Jen comments how much I’m sweating so I continue to sip on my EFS drink. We get there and I begin to relax some because I’m where I need to be but anxiety of what I’m about to do has really kicked in. Jen is on the phone and tells me to stop because someone wants to see me when up walks Michael aka “Da Coach”. What a nice surprise since he said he’d see me on the run. All I could really do was shake his hand without much coming out of my mouth. It was definitely an emotional time for me because he’s the one who inspired it all and here he was, driving an hour and a half from his house to come see my swim start. Great guy and tremendous amount of help to both Jen and me throughout the day. Finally I started to settle down so I decided to start squeezing into my Roka swim skin when up walks Soph and Camdyn (sister and niece). Again, emotional time but this time more controlled. I’m hoping all this emotion has something to do with the nerves but I also know that’s how I am at times. It runs in the family. HA! After all of this, Michael takes a pic of Jen and me before I head off to find my time slot.
I begin to see more people I know with Soph and Cammy behind me and lose track of Jen and Michael but I found my time slot so slide in the herd. I see another fellow ORR athlete Luis who I’ve swam with every Mon. and Wed. training sessions so he slides in with me. He’s also a first timer and I have the chance to meet all of his family. Then I see Michael and he tells me Jen and her parents are right in front of me. It was great to have so many people there to see me. It would’ve been nice to have the boys there but I know they were also gearing up for a very long day with Talon’s pre-K graduation starting in just a few hours then coming to see me later so their rest right now was definitely more important. I got a last minute hug and kiss from Jen as her mom takes pictures. We’re making our way to the water and Luis turns to me and wishes me luck as we give each other fist bumps.
Swim = 1:35
This is the first time at IMTX where they did a rolling start. This had me both excited and nervous. Excited because I heard some people PR with rolling starts because you’re swimming with others at your speed but nervous because this means I could start before 7 AM and my focus has always been about the midnight hour. Midnight is much easier to keep track of than wondering about 17 hours after whatever time I started. I thought I was in the 1:20-1:30 slot but somehow realized last minute I was in with the 1:30-1:40 folks which is fitting since that’s where I finished. I entered the water and right off the bat, I just couldn’t find my rhythm. My HR was up so I decide to breaststroke a short distance to calm down and look for Luis. I find him as he’s also doing breaststroke but ahead of me so I put my head down and start swimming. After about 700 yards, everything is starting to feel good with my HR settling down and strokes feeling smooth. There are a few people I swim over and I get hit a few times myself but I feel good. Right before the first turn, I realize I should’ve been in earlier group because I’m passing up quite a few people and realize the only ones passing me up are in wetsuits. I’m thinking, holy cow, they’ve already caught me but oh well. I make the first turn and start to feel my right hamstring cramp. Uh oh…why is this? I thought I hydrated enough because I was up numerous times the night before but then started thinking about me sweating so much on walk over. I relax my legs and focus on pulling instead. While doing so, I was trying to keep my legs straight then toes started cramping. This was going to be a long day was all I could think but that kept my mind off of the distance. Every time I started to push because the pace was too easy, my hamstring would begin to cramp so I decided that’s my body saying it’s a long day, just relax. I enter the canal and was nervous about the “wash” but it wasn’t bad at all. (Note: Maybe swimming in the bay at the Kemah Oly 6 weeks earlier helped prepare me more than I thought.) I enjoyed the canal as the sides were lined with people cheering when finally I spot my family in the distance sporting their neon green Team Burkland shirts. I couldn’t get there fast enough. What a boost of energy having them spot me as I’m waving trying to get their attention. They followed me the rest of the way and every time I breathed to that side, I could see them continuously cheering. I’m at the end and have read that you should kick at the knees to help get the blood flow back from being horizontal for so long. I exit the water a little shaky but hear my name from the announcer. That is awesome but I’m still concerned about the cramps.
T1 = 18:31
Since this was my first IM event, I didn’t know what to expect with the changing tent but wow was it hot. It was also packed and the ground was wet and muddy so I had to change while standing. Difficult task but got it done only to run through mud again while carrying shoes. My family is at my bike row waiting. This was awesome as I hear my father in law get on a loud speaker and shout something at me. I just smile and wave then begin carrying my bike out. Fortunately, there were baby pools to wash off your feet but all of this took time. In hindsight, every little minute counts.
Bike = 7:58
The time says it all. I’ve never claimed to be fast on the bike but wow, this is where things began to unravel. My legs feel better than I expected but I immediately begin my salt tabs because of cramps during swim. I realize I don’t have enough salt tabs because I didn’t anticipate taking salt this early on the bike. The past year, I’ve ridden this course numerous times but never from the transition area so I was taking it all in just getting legs warm while others are flying past me. Once we turn on 2978, it’s time to pick it up some. My legs/saddle/bike feel good. It’s going to be a good day. I say this because just a few weeks prior, I changed out my saddle yet again. I bought a Selle SMP from ORR athlete Michelle and only rode a few times so was a little concerned. I see many other ORR athletes which is refreshing until they drop me. HA! At about mile 40, I hear Eric. I was hoping not to see him until mile 60 but damn…he caught me already. We chat briefly for 2 miles but I can’t keep up without feeling my legs pushing. I yell to him that I thought he was going to take it easy the first half when he shouts back…”I AM” and that’s the last time I see Eric. I’ve been told by many that the ride out should feel effortless in order to prepare for the ride back into headwind so I let him go. I saw some interesting things and talked briefly to quite a few folks during the ride. I saw a few people crashed on the side and one guy was pouring sweat as I passed him up. I’ve never seen so much sweat dripping off someone like that before. I tell him he better be drinking lots of fluids when he tells me that’s what he thinks is wrong with him now…that he has drank too much and he has no idea how many times he’s thrown up on himself already. Wow…so it wasn’t sweat after all. I drop him pretty quickly and move on. I finally get halfway to bike special needs station. I look at my time and I’m ahead of schedule so decide to stop for a few minutes. I pick up my bag and swap out my bottles talking briefly with and thanking the volunteers while enjoying my turkey sandwich. It’s still cool yet cheese is soft…this is so good. Thanks Rick…this was great idea. I’m not sure why but they didn’t have porta potty’s at special needs but did few miles up so I stopped again at mile 60. This was my first restroom break which was a concern since I was ~5 hrs. into the race already. After this, it was all into a STRONG headwind with gust crosswinds and more hills but this is why I had paced myself during the first half. The wind was fierce with clouds in the sky so I kept hoping it would just rain so that would kill the wind but all we got were a few sprinkles instead. There are people just laying in the grass on the side of the road, one guy looked like he was throwing up blood, ambulances pass me going the direction I just came from and all I could think was wow…what is going on? I’m in a good place considering what all I’m seeing. The wind was definitely making me push harder than I wanted all while not going very fast. It doesn’t help that as a Super Clyde I’m like a sail which can be great going downhill or with a tailwind but with any type of incline or a gusty headwind like today…not so much. I could say it was miserable by about mile 80 but that would be too early. The real misery for me began at mile 98 when my stomach started rumbling. I’m on the home stretch, legs are feeling good all things considered but what in the world is going on now. This hasn’t happened to me before during training. I’m thinking, I’ve stuck to my plan. I haven’t done anything diff…oh wait…the turkey sandwich. Geez, what was I thinking? My speed becomes even slower as I squirm on the saddle trying to get comfortable and take my mind off of the GI distress. I make one of the final turns when I start to hear music. Ahh…an aid station with porta potty’s. Now I’m not entirely sure the turkey sandwich was to blame for my GI issues but it’s the only thing I did differently from my training. Thanks Rick. LOL! I say that in jest because I know better. As Coach Karen said, I broke the #1 cardinal rule on nutrition, don’t use anything different than what you use during training. Lesson learned. Finally, I’m back to Transition and there’s all my family. What a breath of fresh air! I was VERY excited to see them lining the side yelling for me with my mom being the loudest (No surprise there, HA!) as she yells, “Go Boyhee” (childhood nickname). They follow me on the outside all the while cheering until I get into the changing tent.
T2 = 13:22
A volunteer tells me to stay on left side because it’s not as wet. If that was true, I’d hate to see what the other side looked like. The tent is even MORE hot than this morning. I’m sweating profusely while changing out with most difficult task trying to put on my socks and shoes. Since my time was so slow, there are many chairs for me to sit.
Run = DNF
As I leave the tent, there is the family again waiting for me. Cheering, clapping and yelling what I’m not quite sure. I wish I would’ve had more time to stop and talk to them but I know my bike was 30+ mins. slower than I expected so I had to get going. I start my slow jog but that doesn’t last long. I look at watch and HR isn’t as high as I thought it was but I just couldn’t catch my breath for some reason so I decided to walk. I look back to see if family is still following me but I can no longer see them. Jen had my Pepto chewables and I forgot to ask her for them so it would have to wait. I know my walk pace has to be pretty quick so I push on. Right from the beginning, the crowd support along the waterway was great. There were girls in swimsuits and something I could’ve done without, seeing guys in speedos, yelling and cheering with music thumping. They’ve obviously had a few cold ones but it was funny nonetheless. I continue to walk talking to a few people along the way. Time was of the essence to me but every time I started to run, my right hamstring would begin to cramp up so I focused on fluids at every aid station. My time was slipping slightly under 16 min/mile so knew I was in trouble. I saw Wade, PT from MH Ironman Institute, and he gave words of encouragement as I told him what was happening and that I would stop next time around for him to stretch me. A few miles later, there is another MH aid station so I stop there to stretch. As she begins to stretch my quads, I get a vicious cramp in my hamstring again so she begins to apply pressure. I can’t take it anymore so just get up and start walking again. Finally, I see the bright green Team Burkland shirts and there are even more of them now. I see friends and family and kids from my soccer team with signs and cheering. This was pretty amazing. I was hoping to run past them but stopped to talk briefly and told them I was in trouble but I was encouraged seeing so many come out to support me. Jay and Rodrigo started to jog with me but that doesn’t last long as I tell them I have to walk again. My hamstring wasn’t necessarily cramping now but would tighten so I would get nervous and not sure what to do, so just started walking. They walked what felt like a few miles with me but was probably only a mile and I told them thanks but they should probably turn around because I didn’t want them to get too far away from the others and I know that it’s also against the rules for other non-competitors to run with you but it was nice. I start my second loop and see Jen again as I head back out and ask her for Pepto pills so she runs ahead to have them ready to hand to me as I get to her. Geez, what an amazing woman. She begins walking with me and Rodrigo catches her to get the 15# backpack from her and we then see Michael in his Team Burkland shirt. I ask him to help me with time because I need to know what I have to average to make the cut off. He nods and catches us as they both continue to support me. He walks about 3 miles with us before turning back. I know I’ve said it before but what a great guy. He’s the one that inspired it all and here he was again trying to inspire me to push on and pick it up. Jen and I are walking along the back of the course which is a pretty quiet stretch relatively speaking when we see her brother Jess, Brie and family. It was great to see them with their Tony Stark signs cheering and yelling. Definitely a mental boost but my body was beginning to say otherwise. It’s now dark and seems even darker on the backside. We see people starting to fall out then I see Jeffy and his family. This is pretty cool as they walk with me briefly. Jen and I finally get back to the rest of the crew and our friend Charles relieves Jen and picks up from there. I’m still thinking clearly, in my mind anyway, but I probably should’ve taken more GU as well but just felt like I needed fluids. I was feeling bloated so knowing I should take more sodium but I’ve gone through all my salt tabs. Charles walks a while but I don’t really have much to say since I know by this time, I will not make the cut off. I’m wondering where they will stop me when up walks another athlete from North Carolina. We exchange introductions, although now can’t remember his name, and he tells me this is his 6th IM event but the first he will not finish. I explained this was my first and he said,”you picked a tough one to sink your teeth into” but that was little consolation at this point especially since this was my home course. Our friend and soccer Team Mom Sandy catches me and provides her many words of encouragmement. She walks with the NC guy and me complimenting me all the way. We wind our way around the construction when suddenly, there it is…the split to 3rd loop or the finish but for me, the gate was closed and officials saying they were sorry but needed my timing chip. I look up and see Michael, Jay, then Charles holding Landon and Felichia and Brianna. I felt like time was frozen for a minute as I stood there and took it all in realizing what I feared was now reality. I could hear Mike Reilly in the background announcing “…you are an Ironman” as other competitors crossed the finish line not too far from where I was standing. I then turn to my amazing friends with mixed emotions. I’m thankful they are there and relieved it is over since my knee was hurting more with each step but disappointed as I felt I let them, my family and myself down and didn’t reach the goal I had spent many months training. They all gave me a hug then Michael and I headed off to meet up with Jen since she was also unfortunately tasked with picking up my bike and gear.
Total = 131 miles; 14 hrs. 53 mins. but DNF
Michael and I got to the Marriott and found a place to sit outside. It felt so good being able to sit down when up walks Pete and Carrie. They were also tracking me so came up to hopefully see me finish but to no avail. Jen called Michael to say she was out front so we made our way through the lobby. It was very disappointing seeing so many people that had finished and obviously happy it was over. Jen and I drive away both exhausted trying to take it all in.
I’ve had a few weeks now to process it all.
Those that have done endurance sports know what I’m talking about when I say there are so many things one experiences out on the course. There are body / muscle concerns, mechanical issues then mental blocks then back to body issues. A major part of the game is mental and being able to work through those issues and for me…it was the clock.
Nonetheless, it was an amazing day. The best part of it all was having SO many of my family and friends out there supporting me along the way. I am very thankful for them all but especially for Jen. I already knew how incredible she was but this was a great reminder. I may not be an Ironman yet but she is certainly an Ironwife. She supported me during this journey and coordinated so many things throughout the day that she as well as all spouses and families of triathletes out there deserve their own medals.
I’ve told everyone I was one and done. I told Jen the only way I would ever do another IM is if I didn’t finish. It was probably about mile 12 on the run when Jen and I were walking along the dark path that I told her I didn’t care what happened, I was NEVER doing this again. A few days later she sent me an incredible email saying she supported whatever decision I made but wanted me to consider another IM and she would also train for something she’s never done herself. I’ve never been one to quit something I’ve started and definitely not a fan of feeling like something has beat me and since I didn’t reach my goal of hearing Mike Reilly announce I am an Ironman, I know that I will try again someday.
This time the clock won the battle but one day, I will win the war.
